Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for their support while watching me go through the “most dramatic break up of all time” on Bachelor in Paradise.
What’s crazy is that I walked down the beach that morning and told a producer that this was the best day of my life, and how quickly it turned into the worst. Everything you saw, was EXACTLY how it happened. There was nothing deleted…or added to make it any worse, or better. No one knew. No staff, none of my friends, no Chris Harrison. Just Kirk.
I don’t want to re hash what happened. I went through it, and then went through it again while watching. I must say that while watching back, I was proud of myself. I mean, it’s not a normal thing to watch back on the worst moment of your life, and in that moment I saw beauty. I saw a girl who was strong enough to tell a man what she needed, and was lucky enough to have to wonderful women back her up completely. How lucky was I to have Jade and Tenely? They are the epitome of true friends.
When I went home Kirk and I did speak. He told me that the reason he broke things off was not because he stopped having feeling for me, it was because he had just got out of a previous relationship a month before hand, and could not stop thinking about her. He said that as the weeks went on, he was moving backwards in his head with her…instead of forwards with me. I have to admire that he was listening to his heart…even though it was not with me. All we can do is follow our hearts. That’s what we are here for right?
Yes, he should have been honest earlier, but he wasn’t. There are a million possibilities of why.
But we all make mistakes. And he’s a great guy. That’s why I loved him. He will be in my heart forever.
If you didn’t hear the song BLINDSIDED I wrote on the way home from Mexico, go to www.soundcloud.com/carlywaddell Kirk has officially been “Taylor-Swifted”
I love you guys. So much. Thank YOU for the love back my way!